Suspending Judgment

As children, we start by seeing the world simply from our own perspective. Over time, we learn to consider other people's feelings and to appreciate that our actions might impact others. Hopefully during this evolution of our thought process we also learn to respect differences of opinion-- everyone is entitled to his/her own view, especially here in America.

Somehow, in a global sense, especially in terms of politics, everyone seems to appreciate free will and individual rights. We extoll as an American virtue the belief embodied in our country's founding documents that each person has a right to pursue his/her own happiness. Yet in a very micro level, when I hear people talk about issues with their friends or family, so many are quick to pass judgments on others or seek to impose their views on those in their immediate circle. Why is that?

From what I have read and observed throughout the years, there are some couples that are happy with the traditional marriage arrangment, where one person stays home and cares for the children while the other person focuses on providing for the family financially. Some people thrive on constantly playing the role of a savior, while I know plenty that would find that exhausting. There are those who believe in love at first sight; meanwhile others need years of being together to develop sufficient trust in a relationship. Some people live to work, but most simply work in order to live. Not everyone has a particular passion or interest in life; not all believe in a higher power; some will not be able to bear children, others will not want that responsibility. Many people struggle with different forms of addiction or mental health issues. It is also quite common for people to have an exit affair because few are strong enough to leave a relationship without having another one lined up-- apparently fear of being alone is quite prevalent.

Life is complicated, and particularly intimate relationships are challenging to maintain. But perhaps if we could apply our more open-minded global view to our personal lives, and suspend judgment of others, we could have longer lasting and less volatile relationships. Simply stated: a little more compassion would go a long way.