Making a Clean Break

In today's Washington Post there was an article about break-ups in the age of modern technology. I've obviously been involved with many break-ups professionally over the past 14 years, and I suppose personally over the last 20 years. Technology has definitely made it easier for many to limit their communications and rein in their emotions by sticking to text and email versus an actual phone call or in person meeting. Depending on how long you have been together, however, text or email won't always cut it, and if you have stuff you need to exchange, there is no avoiding the in-person meeting. Whatever method you use, I strongly encourage people to try and keep it civil-- short and sweet is often best. Not every email or text requires a response, and sometimes silence can say it all. If you have to say something, just remember that things can go viral fast, and there is that old adage "hell hath no fury like a woman scorned." BTW, men are quickly proving themselves to be hot heads too these days! So, try to keep it clean and exit with your dignity. Instead of telling someone all the reasons s/he is so lousy, try sticking to some oldies but goodies:

1. I have a lot on my plate right now, or I am just too busy to date right now. (Translation: you really aren't going to rank as a priority in my life.)
2. I am not ready to commit to anyone right now. (Translation: you are NOT the one for me, and I want to keep my options open.)
3. There is just something missing, there isn't that extra something here. (Translation: You are just not hot enough, nice enough or smart enough for me.)
4. I still have a lot of issues I need to work through. (Translation: I'm not over my past relationship(s) and being with you isn't really helping me make any progress.)
5. This isn't working for me.(Translation: I think I can be way happier with someone else.)

I've only rarely kept in touch with exs-- my ex-husband, who shares custody of my son, is obviously one of those very rare exceptions. But in general, I think it is hard for people to maintain a friendly relationship with an ex, especially if it wasn't mutual or one person was completely blind-sided by the break-up. Of course, anybody that lacks boundaries or exhibits psycho tendencies is best cut out of your life completely. No matter what though, always try to take the high road. It is a small world, and you never know who you will run into-- especially within these elaborate social media connections.