Wednesday, July 23, 2014

Can You Think of the Greater Good?

Last year, when I interviewed Bob Scuka of the National Institute for Relationship Enhancement in Bethesda, I asked him what he thought was the #1 threat married couples face, and much to my surprise his response was this: the American culture.  Ever since then, I have given his answer a lot of thought, and the fact is our society does place a huge emphasis on independence and the pursuit of an individual's happiness.  These are the fundamental principles that our country was founded on, and as great as these ideals are, they are indeed contrary to the mindset necessary for promoting a good marriage and healthy family ties.

Having dated American men my whole life until quite recently, I never fully understood the impact our cultural backgrounds can have on our relationships.  Now that I am with someone that shares my Latin culture, I can see how our shared backgrounds help us sync so easily-- we are both very affectionate, warm, spiritual, family-focused and fun-loving.  We were raised with the same values, and they are very different from those promoted in the U.S., which increasingly over the last 30 years seems obsessed with money and instant gratification.

I hate to be harsh, but my MTV generation is either going to realize the error of its ways, or we will sadly continue to see many marriages fall apart because individuals can't think beyond their own needs and wants to consider what might benefit the greater good.  You have to be able to compromise and learn to balance between giving and taking, otherwise it won't work.

If we really want to promote healthier relationships, then we are going to seriously have to change some of our core American values.  For a more detailed explanation of this, here is the Youtube link to the show with Bob Scuka:

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