Thursday, January 31, 2013

Embracing Change

In the business world, you either keep evolving or you become extinct, it is that simple.  It has been the same in the animal kingdom for centuries-- either you adapt to your changing environment, or you will die.  Change is a normal part of life, and especially within families, it is a naturally recurring theme-- kids grow up, they move out, they get married, then maybe they will add to the family by having kids of their own; in the meantime, someone may get sick, die or divorce.  Families are constantly being restructured with a variety of different characters-- and this is precisely what has kept me so intrigued in the field of family law, but I've recently come to learn that not everyone shares my enthusiasm in these changes.

I think blended families is a misnomer-- it sort of conjures up the impression of everyone being thrown into a blender at once, and out comes this amazing smoothie.  Yeah, well not so much-- I think a better image would be to think of a fruit salad in progress.  Think more of a banana that is reluctantly co-existing with an orange, then some strawberries enter the mix along with a slightly acidic pineapple, and ever so slowly you need to convince the various fruit parts to appreciate the benefits they all bring to each other when combined into one happy family. 

With the sale of my home behind me, and big changes ahead, I am increasingly cognizant of the advice so many of my thoughtful colleagues have given me throughout the years-- particularly the need to proceed slowly when little ones are involved.  I guess I took it for granted that we all embrace change as a reality of life, but actually most do not.  In fact, many see it as scary versus exciting-- especially children that might fear the unknown.  Preparing our kids for life is our duty as parents, so I'm not at all backing down from this challenge-- this is an important life lesson, but it is one I unwittingly took for granted all these years.  While embracing change is a key life skill, it is not inherent in everyone.  Here's hoping I'm as good at teaching as I am at doing...

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