Even though I am 100% Hispanic, I have always gravitated towards the all American guy next door. Meanwhile, my college roommate always went for international guys. But God clearly has a sense of humor-- she fell in love with my "type" and they have been happily married for 10 years now, and here I find myself raving to her during a recent visit about the Brazilian musician in my life that is making my heart melt these days.
Her reaction is very similar to all those around me-- apparently everyone else could see that my "type" wasn't really working for me, and after all these years we can all now understand why: there was just way too much getting lost in translation. Unfortunately, the more I advanced in my education and career over the last 20 years, the less surrounded I found myself by people with a similar ethnic, cultural and artistic background, and so sticking within my own social circles I kept repeating the same broken pattern until finally one day I decided to broaden my horizons and break out of my norm.
If you want to successfully date, then you have to view it as a social experiment and go in with an open mind. Meeting new people has always been an exciting adventure for me, and I've always felt like I could learn something-- good or bad-- from each encounter. It is about stepping outside your comfort zone, and testing your capacity for love and understanding of others until one day you find that perfect person-- the one that steps into your life and allows you to see why it never worked with anyone else before.
It took me over 20 years to realize what my real "type" is so cut yourself some slack if you are not sure about this-- in fact give yourself some points for questioning whether you are on the right track. Embrace your curiosity and don't be afraid of the answers. When you listen to your heart, it will all make perfect sense. While many will come into your life for a season, or perhaps a specific reason, very few are those bonds that last a lifetime. The more open you are to what the universe presents to you, the more likely you are to reap life's beautiful rewards.
I thought I knew my type, but I was dead wrong. The average American guy next door is never going to understand me, and sadly, every time I tried to settle for what seemed good enough I found myself immensely disappointed, frustrated and irritated beyond belief. Ahora entiendo.
How will you know when you discover your real type? Because that person will exceed all your expectations. Until that day comes, just enjoy the journey. :)
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