Who's Your Competition?

There is a lot of overlap between the business world and the dating world-- a tremendous amount depends on (1) the packaging, (2) how you market yourself, (3) the price point, and (4) where you position yourself.  Do not underestimate the importance of all these things, however, in the end, there is one key thing that you will never know in the dating world:  who is your competition?

Knowing what your competitors are offering is a key piece of data that we all rely on in the business world, but you will probably never obtain that in the dating world, where  what may be a selling point for one person may be a dealbreaker for another.  You just never know, so let it go.

When I first returned to the dating world after my divorce, I went in with a ton of assumptions, and yet slowly but surely they've all been torn down.  At first I wondered why would guys would want to date a woman with a young child versus one that has a completely free calendar?  Well, it turns out some guys really dig that caring, nurturing side that comes out when you become a mom.  Then I worried that my profession might intimidate some guys, but I soon learned that most guys really dig a girl that can hunt for herself.  As the years have gone by, I wondered if perhaps my age might start to count against me, and yet much to my surprise, lots of younger guys love the fact that I'm in no rush to get married, and that I have zero interest in having more children.  To them, the pressure is off when they date "older" women, and this let's them just have fun-- and let me just say, wow, these guys are truly just yummy.

This summer, while researching various life philosophies, a friend recommended Miguel Angel Ruiz's book, "The Four Agreements."  What he proposes as 4 simple rules to live by, I would propose everyone should apply in the dating world, and they are as follows:

1. Make no assumptions. 
2. Avoid passing judgment.
3. Just be honest and do your best.
4. Do not take things personally.

So simple, right?  Well, it takes a lot of practice to implement into your daily routine, but I truly believe this is the best way to remain sane and successfully navigate the dating world, where you really have no idea who you are competing against.  As it turns out, I think the best thing I learned from the dating world is that the one person you really have to compete against is yourself. 

Tap into that competitive side of yourself, figure out what you need to conquer, and then go-- get out there and have a blast!