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Call Regina at: 240-621-0559
Monday, October 22, 2012
The Importance of Closure Conversations
Over the last 14 years as a divorce lawyer, I've seen a lot of crap. The worst, however, is when someone is blind-sided by the divorce. They had no idea that anything was wrong, and to add insult to injury the other spouse leaves without ever giving an explanation. Perhaps the goal is to not say anything further to hurt the other, but the fact is that if you leave a person in the dark as to what went wrong, you leave that person always wondering, always doubting, and perhaps preventing them from ever being able to move forward. How can you learn from your mistakes if no one ever tells you what you are doing wrong? Whether it is a friend, relative or lover that I have walked away from, I have always tried to give some insight as to why the relationship is being terminated. There are ways to have these discussions without obliterating the other person's ego. No doubt these talks are hard, but there is no crueler punishment in my opinion that to end a long-term relationship without explanation. Perhaps you may not be ready to have it right away, we all need time to calm down sometimes and gain perspective, but at some point, it is the humane thing to do.
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Regina:
ReplyDeleteSometimes people don't even know why they left. Or they think they left for one reason but it turns out to be another reason. And sometimes, they regret leaving. A lot of my clients keep asking themselves why their spouse left until enough time passes and they have a new relationship that expands to fill their world. They may never find out why, but sooner or later, the question no longer matters to them.
So true Jim, most people thankfully do move on. There are sadly a few, however, that perseverate and don't let things go. The dark side is not a healthy place to stay for long.
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